Zelda Apple of Ages Smoothie of Seasons
by Shendo
Summary: Link meets a freaky glowing apple that changes everything, And what will happen when he finds out the apple can TALK? Chapter 11 up! Please R
1. The Discovery of a Glowing Apple

The Legend of Zelda: The Apple of Ages and the Smoothie of Seasons  
  
Chapter One: The Discovery of the Apple  
  
We begin in a forest full of trees that have leaves, many, many, (10 years later) many, many trees. So many, many (here we go again) many trees that it's very dark and very scary and very spooky and very creepy.  
  
Link: Is it just me, or is it very, very dark and scary.  
  
Navi: Didn't the author just say that about 100 million times?!  
  
Link: Um. I guess. Do you know why the author named it The Legend of Zelda when Zelda isn't even in this story?  
  
Navi: No, hey Where did that freaky circle of fruit come from?  
  
Link: How would I *sees the fruit* FREE FOOD YEAH!!!!!!! * Runs and picks up a banana *  
  
Banana: Let go of me!  
  
Link: Evil spirits have inhabited the banana!  
  
Navi: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!  
  
Banana: What do you mean? I'm just any other banana!  
  
Link: o_O Bananas talk?  
  
Banana: Of course! Didn't you know? Now be quiet or you'll ruin his ruin it!  
  
Link: Ruin what?  
  
Banana: Look * points to the middle of the circle *  
  
Link: * looks to the middle * Whoa! A glowing apple! Cool!  
  
Banana: Be quiet already!  
  
Apple: Gaze upon and see my amazing freakishly cool glow! * Notices Link * Cool! What is that?! * tips on it's side and starts rolling at 100 mph toward link, uses the banana as a ramp and goes flying at Link * Nice to meet you I'm The Apple of Ages!  
  
Link: * catches it * O_O .ooooooook who's the one that put the chemical X in this fruit?  
  
All Fruit: Didn't you know that any fruits could talk and move around freely?  
  
Link: All of the fruit I've seen just lie there.  
  
Apple: Our ancient ancestors!  
  
Link: O_o What?  
  
Apple: Take me with you! I must meet my ancient ancestors!  
  
Link: Ok. It might be cool to have a talking fruit at my house.  
  
(So Link takes home The Apple of Ages What freaky stuff will happen next? Find out in the Next chapter of THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE APPLE OF AGES AND SMOOTHIE OF SEASONS!) 


	2. Living with a Glowing Apple

Chapter Two: Living With a Glowing, Talking, Apple  
  
We all know that life with a crying baby is hard, but no one has bothered to live with a glowing apple.  
  
Link: we're here Apple of Ages.  
  
Apple of Ages: * wakes up * did I fall asleep? I guess I got kind of bored there.  
  
Link: I've never heard someone who can snore like you. Maybe you could get into a book of world records! Think of all the rupees we'd get!  
  
AoA: I snore that loud?  
  
Navi: I'll bet you 100 rupees that glass would shatter from your snore, then the pieces would shatter, and it would go on until the glass disappeared!  
  
AoA: Shut it or I'll sleep next to you tonight!  
  
Navi: Sorry, sorry! Ok! I'll do anything just don't sleep by me! My tiny ears won't be able to take it!  
  
Link: I'm gonna go watch T.V. while you two have your little meaningless argument. * Sets the Apple on the table *  
  
AoA and Navi: MEANINGLESS!!!!!!!! * The AoA rolls toward Link at the speed of sound and Navi Rams at Link as fast as she can (which is also the speed of sound).  
  
Link * Flies through the wall and out of the house after being hit * (his house is 15 feet from the ground) what was that fo *hits the ground making an imprint in the ground*  
  
Navi: Now you in trouble little apple!  
  
AoA: You hit him too!  
  
Navi: Him and I are great pals he would forgive me he wouldn't hurt me, no matter what!  
  
Link: * Back in the house * Wanna bet? * Charges at both of them with his sword out *  
  
AoA: * rolls and trips Link * couldn't get me!  
  
Link: Owwwwww. You win this round, but you won't win the war!  
  
AoA: What war?  
  
Link: Forget it. * Puts the AoA back on the table and goes to bed * (whispers to himself) I wish I could've gotten a night-light today.  
  
Navi: I heard that wimp! I can't believe that you're scared of the dark! You beat up Ganon and your scared of the dark! I don't get it!  
  
AoA: I can help look Link!  
  
Link: *Rolls over on his bed to see the apple glowing * I don't want you as a night-light! You're glow is too freaky! Stop!  
  
The Apple of Ages simply glows brighter.  
  
Link: Stop!!! I'm warning you! Sop or else.  
  
AoA: Or else what? You're gonna throw me? I don't smash so easily like any other apple.  
  
Link: That's not what I was thinking of, I'll bite a big chunk off of you! If you glowing in the morning then prepare to loose a lot of weight!  
  
AoA: You wouldn't dare!  
  
Link: Oh I would.  
  
AoA: You wouldn't  
  
Link: You'll see in the morning!  
  
(See what I meant when I said living with a crying baby's tough but no one has bothered with a glowing apple? I don't deserve all of the credit here, Star fairy also helped with this story so she deserves some credit too! Was Link serious about eating the Apple of Ages? Find out in Chapter 3 which I think will be coming soon!) 


	3. Back in Time

Chapter Three: Back in Time (Last time Link threatened to eat the Apple of Ages, was he serious? Find out! Anyways, morning has come)  
  
Link: * Wakes up and sees the AoA still glowing * I warned you! * Starts to walk slowly making loud stomps to scare the AoA.  
  
AoA: NO! STOP! I WON'T GLOW ANYMORE! PLEASE! JUST STOP!  
  
Link: Too late * picks up the AoA and nearly has it to his teeth *  
  
AoA: Wait!!! Please just let me meet my ancient ancestors that you said you'd show me!  
  
Link: * pulls the AoA away from his mouth * Ok you can have a little chat with them, but I don't think they'll have much to say. * Puts the AoA on the table and goes to his fridge, takes out an ordinary apple and puts it next to the AoA. *  
  
AoA: Hello great, great, great, great grandpa! Is it nice living here?  
  
Apple:....  
  
AoA: Cool!  
  
Apple:....  
  
Link: See? I told you they couldn't talk. Now can we get back to were I'm about to bite a big chunk out of you?  
  
AoA: Wait! Don't interrupt his speech! Now what were you saying great 4 times grandpa?  
  
Apple:....  
  
AoA: Wow! I never knew that!  
  
Apple:.....  
  
AoA: Amazing!  
  
Link: Ok what's going on here?  
  
AoA: I said don't interrupt!  
  
Link: What's he saying?  
  
AoA: You wouldn't understand it.  
  
Link: Try me.  
  
AoA: Ok then! .....  
  
Link: What does that mean?  
  
AoA: It's the ancient apple language! It would've died out if gramps here hadn't taught it to me! I told you that you wouldn't understand! I just told you the entire history of the race of apples there!  
  
Link: Apples must not have much of a history then do they?  
  
AoA: In the English language that would've taken nearly a century to say!  
  
Link: Is your grandpa done talking yet?  
  
AoA: yep!  
  
Link: * puts the apple back in his fridge the picks up the AoA * now can we get back to where we were?  
  
AoA: sure! Now what were we doing?  
  
Link: I was about to bite you.  
  
AoA: Oh yeah. NOOOO! WAIT!!!! STOP!!!!  
  
Link * bites of a tiny piece * PTOOO!!!!! You're the worst thing I've tried to eat! We can fix that! * Starts walking over to his smoothie machine *  
  
AoA: *Sees the blender* I'm not going in there! * Makes a really bright flash and Link, Navi, and the AoA are somewhere else * yeah!  
  
Navi: Where are we?  
  
AoA: I took us back to an age before smoothie machines were invented so take that!  
  
Link: Take us back!  
  
AoA: So you can turn me into a smoothie?! No way!  
  
Navi: Take me back at least! I wasn't going to make a smoothie out of you!  
  
AoA: I can't do that because I would be taking Link back too.  
  
Navi: Link! Why'd you go and make me get caught up in this too? I didn't do anything to get the apple mad!  
  
Link: Oops.  
  
Navi: Yeah oops! I'm stuck here and I'm the innocent one!  
  
Uh oh. Link and Navi are stuck back in time with a glowing apple! Can they survive in an age without smoothies? Find out next time on Apple of Ages and Smoothie of Seasons! (Don't worry the Smoothie of Seasons will come in soon.) 


	4. Back to the Future

Chapter Four: Back to the Future (Last Time The AoA went back in time taking Link and Navi to an age before smoothie machines were invented. Will they survive in a world without smoothies?)  
  
Link: Send us back or else! I have a sword that can slice and dice and even make French toast!  
  
AoA: But it can't make smoothies can it?  
  
Navi: Send us back please! We can't live without smoothies!  
  
Link: You mean YOU can't live without smoothies.  
  
Navi: You can't either! Remember when the smoothie shop was sold out in Hyrule? You went ballistic!  
  
Link: That was because. um.  
  
Navi: admit it! We can't live without smoothies!  
  
AoA: How long is this going to take?  
  
Link: A few days I think.  
  
Then a few days later  
  
Link: Ok apple, we're done.  
  
AoA: Who won?  
  
Link: I did!  
  
Navi: No I did!  
  
Link: No me!  
  
AoA: Stop! Not another big argument!  
  
Link: ^o^ Navi! I've got an idea! * Whispers something to Navi *  
  
Navi: * Nods to Link * Good thinking there Link!  
  
Link: He can't refuse that kind of deal! * Walks up to AoA * Navi and I've got a deal for you apple. Tell him Navi.  
  
Navi: Link and I won't have another argument if you take us back to our own time. You can't refuse this kind of deal!  
  
AoA: Ok! Ok! Anything just don't argue again! I thought it was going to go on forever the first time; I dare not imagine how long a second one would be! I mean.  
  
Link: Just send us back before we change our minds would you?  
  
AoA: OK! SORRY! * Immediately takes the back *  
  
Link and Navi high five each other  
  
Link and Navi: Yeah! We're back to the future!  
  
AoA: Aren't you going to thank me?  
  
Link: Why?  
  
AoA: Because I brought you back.  
  
Navi: So? You were the one that took us there in the first place!  
  
AoA: But I need some kind of reward, please thank me!  
  
Link: Ok, but if we thank you then you can't send us back in time again ok?  
  
AoA: How about the future?  
  
Navi: No! Don't take us anywhere through time!  
  
AoA: Ok (sigh).  
  
Link & Navi: Thank you!  
  
AoA: I think I just made a big mistake.  
  
Link: What makes you say that * puts on an evil grin and picks up the AoA *  
  
AoA: Oh noooooo!!!! The Smoothie machine! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn. What will happen to the glowing apple now? Will he find another way to escape the smoothie machine? Find out in the next chapter of Apple of Ages and Smoothie of Seasons! 


	5. Arrival of The Smoothie of Seasons

Chapter Five: Arrival of The Smoothie of Seasons Last time Link and Navi made a deal for the AoA to take them back to their time and they wouldn't have another few-day-long argument, the apple couldn't resist so he took them back and Link is trying to get him into the smoothie machine again! Will it escape again? Find out!  
  
Link: *holding the AoA walking slowly to the smoothie machine* I'd like to see you get out of this again! Actually, I wouldn't like to see that, I would like to see you not getting out of this again, that and maybe go watch a good movie too.  
  
AoA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Be quiet! I'm talking! Now where was I again.? You stupid apple! You made me lose where I was!  
  
AoA: That's what I was trying to do. ^o^  
  
Link: ~_~ Mean apple.  
  
Navi: ^o^ HA, HA, HA! You got out smarted by an apple! You a lot dumber than you look!  
  
AoA: Yeah! No, wait, HEY!!! ~_~  
  
Navi: ^o^ I'm good! I'm good! I'm the best, YEAH!  
  
Link: Oh yeah? Well your. a little fairy!  
  
Navi: ~_~ Man I hate being called little.  
  
Link: ^o^ who's got the last laugh now? Yeah!  
  
AoA: Oh, be quiet little elf boy!  
  
Link: I'm not an elf! I'm Hyrulian!  
  
And so this went on for a few hours (sigh).  
  
Link: Let's see what you think when your crushed up into a smoothie freakishly glowing apple! * Puts the AoA in the smoothie machine and turns it on *  
  
AoA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! * Starts get smashed into a smoothie *  
  
Link: * has an evil grin * BWA HA, HA, HA!  
  
Navi: Link! NO! Don't go over to the dark side! Look at what you've become!  
  
Link: * looks in the mirror * I don't look or feel any different.  
  
Navi: * Slaps forehead *  
  
Mysterious Voice: Thank you Link.  
  
Link and Navi: * turn around to look at the smoothie machine * what the!?  
  
Mysterious Voice: You have freed me from my freaky-glowing-apple prison I cannot thank you enough. I am the Smoothie of Seasons.  
  
Link: As if a talking glowing apple wasn't enough!  
  
SoS: I am no longer a talking, glowing apple. I am a freaky-talking-glowing- smoothie!  
  
Link and Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
What a freaky chapter ending, anyway can this smoothie change the seasons like the apple could change the ages? Find out next time in the chapter 6 of AoA & SoS! (I've got a feeling that this is going to be a long story) 


	6. Link! What Happened to You?!

Chapter Six: Link! What Happened to You!? Last time, Link finally turned the Apple of Ages into a smoothie. However he didn't know that it would become the Smoothie of Seasons! And it glows just like the apple did too! What crazy thing will happen next? Find out here!  
  
Link quickly shoved the SoS into his fridge.  
  
Link: This is just too weird Navi! What can we do to get rid of that smoothie?  
  
Navi: Throw it in the trash?  
  
Link: What? And ruin the whole plot?  
  
Navi: Hmmm, you've got a point there.  
  
Link and Navi paced around the room thinking of what to do with the smoothie.  
  
SoS: I'm freezing in here! Get me out of here please!  
  
Link and Navi: Silence! We're trying to think of what to do with you!  
  
SoS: If you leave me in here any longer I'll be dead so you won't be able to do anything with me!  
  
Link: All right, all right. (Takes out the SoS and sets it on the table).  
  
SoS: If I was in there any longer I'd-  
  
Link and Navi: We said be quiet!  
  
SoS: (In a scared tone) Ok.  
  
Link: Navi, we've been trying to decide what to do since noon and now it's 9:00 P.M. Let's just get some sleep and try to decide what to do tomorrow.  
  
Navi: Ok, I'm too tired to think anyway.  
  
Link put the smoothie back in the fridge.  
  
SoS: Not there again nooooooo!  
  
Link: Resistance is futile! You will go in the fridge again! (Puts the SoS in the fridge and slams the door)  
  
Later after Link and Navi had gone to sleep. Link woke up later for a midnight snack and walked to the fridge like a zombie.  
  
Link: Midnight snack, midnight snack, midnight snack.  
  
It was annoying and loud, but somehow it didn't wake anyone up.  
  
Everyone in Kokiri Forest (except Link): (Sleep talking) these new earmuffs are so comfortable, and I can't hear Link chanting midnight snack over and over and over.  
  
Ok, so that's how Link didn't wake them up. Oh well. Link opened the fridge door and grabbed the first thing he touched it was the SoS! (Ironic, isn't it?) The SoS had no clue what was going on since he was asleep with his own pair of comfortable earmuffs.  
  
Link: (Still like a zombie with no clue of what he's doing) * in one gulp 1/3 of the SoS is gone * (in mono tone) ahhh, that was good. * Goes back to bed and falls asleep *  
  
SoS: * Wakes up to see that a third of him is gone * AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Now Link has earmuffs too so it didn't wake him up along with the other people with earmuffs.  
  
SoS: Whoever drank part of me is going to be in for a big surprise in the morning! * Immediately falls back to sleep *  
  
The morning came.  
  
Link: * Yawns and looks at Navi * Morning Navi, what's up?  
  
Navi: * Wide-eyed * Link! What happened to you?!  
  
Link: What are you talking about?  
  
Navi: Look in the mirror Link and tell me what happened!  
  
Link: Ok, I have no clue what you talking about but ok. * Looks in the mirror * AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Navi: Tell me Link! How did you become a deku scrub?!  
  
Link: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Navi: Um Link?  
  
Link: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Navi: This is getting really old really fast Link!  
  
Link: AAAAAHHHHHHH!  
  
Navi: That's it! * Rams into Link as fast as possible *  
  
Link: * flies through the window * what was that fo- * hits the ground making another imprint *  
  
Navi: * flies out the window that Link broke * Is it just me, or has that happened before?  
  
Link: * pulling his wooden face from the ground * It's happened, but there was something missing. Hmmm what was it?  
  
Navi: The Apple of Ages that you smashed up to the freaky smoothie in the fridge.  
  
Link: Oh yeah. And I wasn't a deku scrub then. I'll bet that smoothie has something to do with this.  
  
Navi: Why?  
  
Link: I don't know.  
  
Navi: Your weird, did you know that?  
  
Link: No I didn't, cool! Who's weird? Who's the man?  
  
Navi: Ooooook.  
  
So Link went back inside and took out the SoS.  
  
Link: I'll bet you have something to do with-  
  
SoS: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!  
  
Link: What's so funny?!  
  
SoS: You!  
  
Link: I know I'm a deku scrub and I'll bet you-  
  
SoS: No, you were the one! Boy, what a coincidence!  
  
Link: The. one?  
  
SoS: You were the one the tried to drink me! And so that's what you get!  
  
Link: I drank you?  
  
SoS: Last night, you're craving for a midnight snack, ringing any bells?  
  
Link: I never know what's going on when I have a midnight snack craving.  
  
SoS: Oh. Well still, that's what you get!  
  
Link: And so how did you turn me into a deku scrub?  
  
SoS: As you know, I'm the Smoothie of Seasons. And as my name implies, I can change the seasons.  
  
Link: So? Tell me how you turned me into a deku scrub!  
  
SoS: The part of me that you drank turned the season to spring time inside of you, so this is what happened! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!  
  
Link: This isn't funny!  
  
SoS: Then why am I laughing so hard?  
  
Link: Change me back or I'll drink the rest of you!  
  
SoS: If you drink the rest of me, you'll be in a far worse situation. Because I won't be able to change you back! Actually, I don't know how to change you back, but I'm working on it!  
  
Link: WHAT?!  
  
SoS: Are you deaf? I said I'm working on it! And you don't have to scream I'm right here.  
  
Link's a deku scrub and the SoS doesn't know how to change him back. What crazy things will happen next? Find out in chapter 7! And I don't know the title yet, but how will poor Link be able to step outside without being laughed at by everyone? Or can he? Is it just me or is this story getting weirder with each chapter? 


	7. The Search for a Fairy

Chapter Seven: The Search for a Fairy  
  
Last time, the Smoothie of Seasons turned Link into a deku scrub and doesn't know how to change him back and I stopped while Link was Yelling at the Smoothie of Seasons.  
  
Link: You'd better find out how to change me back soon!  
  
SoS: I don't know how to but I think I know someone who can.  
  
Link: WHO!?  
  
SoS: Hey, do you think you can scream any louder I think I can still hear out of my left ear!  
  
Navi: You don't even have ears!  
  
SoS: So what?  
  
Link: Ok I can yell louder WHO CAN CHANGE ME BACK!?  
  
SoS: I barely got earplugs in!  
  
Navi: You don't have ears!  
  
SoS: Who cares?  
  
Link: Tell me who can change me back before I dump you out all over the floor!  
  
SoS: Ok, ok, some fairy that lives in some cave with some special powers that can change you back into some kid.  
  
Navi: You say some too much you know that?  
  
SoS: So?  
  
Link: Where is the cave?  
  
SoS: Beats me.  
  
Link: You don't even know where the cave is?!  
  
SoS: I know one thing about it it's somewhere.  
  
Link: Oh well, I might as well start looking. *Leaves to look for the cave* Come on Navi.  
  
Navi: But I don't want to go.  
  
Link: Come on! Let's go!  
  
Navi: But I'm beating Smoothie in monopoly!  
  
Link: Now!  
  
Navi: Fine, but I'll be back, you little smoothie! *Leaves with Link*  
  
Link and Navi are walking around in the huge field outside of Kokiri forest.  
  
Link: I'm hungry.  
  
Navi: I don't care.  
  
Link: My feet hurt.  
  
Navi: I don't care.  
  
Link: I'm hot.  
  
Navi: I don't care if you thirsty! Now be quiet!  
  
Link: No, I meant good looking.  
  
Navi: I don't care!  
  
So Link and Navi are out looking for the fairy that can change Link back to a human.  
  
Link: (After looking for hours) Where is the stupid cave with the stupid fairy with stupid powers?!  
  
Navi: I'll bet the hole I said to go in might be the cave but would you listen? Nooo.  
  
Link: That would be crazy! You're the only one that can fit through there! It's like, the size of an anthill!  
  
Navi: So? I'll bet it is!  
  
Link: Then how would I ge- what the? I feel all weird like!  
  
Navi: You've been weird for as long as I can remember.  
  
Link: No, I feel weirder than usual!  
  
Navi: Weirder than usual? I didn't think any thing could get any weirder than you already are!  
  
Link: Be quiet! *Starts changing* What the? I'm morphing! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Voice behind Link: Cool from a deku scrub to a goron!  
  
Navi: *Turns around to see who it is* How did you get here?!  
  
Link: * Also turns around* Smoothie? How did you get here!?  
  
SoS: I slipped out of the cup and started sliding around and I got here!  
  
Link: What did you do to turn me into a goron?  
  
SoS: I made the part of me inside you turn the season to summer!  
  
Link: Then how did that turn me into a goron?  
  
SoS: I have no idea.  
  
Link: I suddenly have a craving for rocks.  
  
Navi: Good for you.  
  
Link: Thank you.  
  
Navi: I was being sarcastic weird goron person!  
  
Link: Oh yeah well your. A fairy!  
  
Navi: And proud of it!  
  
Link: Good for you.  
  
Navi: Thank you.  
  
Link: I was being sarcastic you-  
  
SoS: Not another argument! Your arguments are too long! Please don't argue anymore! Like that argument you were in when I was still an apple! Not another one!  
  
Link and Navi are looking for the fairy and the Smoothie of Seasons has joined them too! What stuff will happen next? Read chapter eight to find out! (I think this is going to be a very, very, very, very, very long story) 


	8. Fairy Finders

Chapter Eight: Fairy Finders  
  
Last time Link and Navi went to search for the cave with a fairy in it that could turn Link back into a human and the SoS decided to tag along, and also the SoS turned Link into a goron.  
  
Link: If you're coming with us like the annoying tag along you are then you have to help us find the weird fairy.  
  
SoS: Why?  
  
Link: Because I said so.  
  
SoS: So?  
  
Link: I'll drink you if you don't.  
  
SoS: I'll just keep changing you if you do so there!  
  
Link: Then I'll, um. uh.  
  
SoS: You've got nothing!  
  
Link: Oh yeah! Well if I have nothing then what's this? * Takes out a teddy bear*  
  
SoS: Junk.  
  
Link: See? I have some- hey! Don't make fun of Mr. Woogles! He's my best friend! *Starts petting the teddy bear on it's head*  
  
SoS: Grow up!  
  
Link: Don't let what the bad smoothie says get to you Mr. Woogles.  
  
Navi: Grow up Link! You're embarrassing me to know you!  
  
Link: Ok! *Throws the teddy bear so far that it goes into orbit*  
  
Navi: How did you do that!  
  
Link: What?  
  
Navi: Throw Mr. Woogles into orbit!  
  
Link: I did? Cool! I wonder what's going to happen to him.  
  
At NASA HQ  
  
NASA person: We've detected a foreign object orbiting Earth! What should we do?  
  
Other NASA person: Destroy it! It might be more aliens who have come to take the ducks from our peaceful planet!  
  
Anyways. back with Link.  
  
Navi and SoS: *sees the explosion after Mr. Woogles was blown up* ooooooooo, pretty fire works!  
  
Link: Mr. Woogles!  
  
Navi and SoS: Grow up already!  
  
Link: Ok! Where's the fairy?  
  
Navi: How would I know?  
  
Link: I was talking to the three-eyed monkey!  
  
SoS: No one listens to the three-eyed monkey!  
  
Link: So?  
  
Navi: The three-eyed monkey won't tell you anything because no one listens to the stupid three-eyed monkey and the three-eyed monkey doesn't even exist you three-eyed monkey!  
  
Three-Eyed Monkey: The fairy's in the tiny hole over there.  
  
Navi and SoS: A three-eyed monkey! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Link: That hole is like, the size of an anthill! How am I going to fit in there?  
  
Three-Eyed Monkey: That would be you problem. *Disappears*  
  
Navi: See? I told you that it was the tiny hole!  
  
Link: Weren't you in the middle of screaming in terror after you saw the three-eyed monkey?  
  
Navi: Oh yeah, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Link: Ok you can stop now.  
  
Navi: Ok.  
  
Link: How are we going to get in that hole?  
  
Navi: We? You mean you! I can fly right in and Smoothie here can slip in.  
  
Link: Ok, plan one. Blow the hole up to make it bigger. *Takes dynamite out of his pocket*  
  
SoS: Where did you get those?  
  
Link: Um. Smoothie shop?  
  
Navi: Why would a Smoothie shop have dynamite?  
  
Link: To blow up mean customers?  
  
Navi: (sigh) just use it then.  
  
Link: *Set's the dynamite next to the hole and lights it* Take cover!  
  
SoS: There's no place to take cover! We're out in the middle of nowhere!  
  
Link: Just cover!  
  
Navi: Where?!  
  
Link: Anywhere!  
  
The dynamite blows up making everyone's faces black from the smoke.  
  
Link: I said take cover! I had a shield for cover so I didn't get a black face! Why didn't you take cover?  
  
SoS and Navi: Because there was no place to take cover!  
  
Link: You still should've taken cover!  
  
SoS: and Navi: It blew up already and there's nothing we can do so just be quiet! And the dynamite didn't work!  
  
Link: Awwww. I have another idea! We'll lure the fairy out!  
  
SoS: With what?  
  
Link: With fairy powder!  
  
Navi: And where would we get- uh oh, guy's stop looking at me like that! I'm warning you! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Link: Well we've got the fairy powder, now we need a bag and a fishing pole to drop down the hole.  
  
Navi: *Laying on the ground nearly unconscious after losing a lot of fairy powder twitching* I'll get you. I'll get you!  
  
Link: Yeah and your brother was a firefly.  
  
Navi: How did you know that?  
  
Link: *Pulls a fishing pole and bag from the ground* we're set to go!  
  
SoS: How did you know those we're there?  
  
Link: I don't know. *Puts the powder in the bag and attaches it to the end of the fishing pole*  
  
Navi: *Still twitching* I'll get you!  
  
Link: *Steps on Navi* that ought to keep you quiet! *Drops the fishing line down the hole* I've got a bite! *Reels the fishing line in and a fairy that looks like Navi except it's white pops out of the hole* Yeah!  
  
They found the fairy, Navi's nearly unconscious, and Link somehow got a fishing pole and bag out of the ground when he had no clue that they were there! How did that happen? I have no clue but you can see what happens in the next chapter! 


	9. A Split Personality and it's Fairy

Chapter Nine: A Split Personality and it's Fairy  
  
Last time, Link and the SoS found the fairy that can turn Link back to a human, it looked like Navi except it was white, but Navi lost a lot of fairy powder because they need it to lure the fairy out so Navi was laying on the ground twitching and nearly unconscious.  
  
Link and SoS: Yeah! We found the fairy! We found the fairy!  
  
Navi: I'm going to get back at you.  
  
Link: I told you to be quiet! *Stomps on Navi* There.  
  
White Fairy: Hello there, I am the fairy with some powers that can turn something into whatever. May I get you a cup of tea- *Suddenly turns black* so I can throw it at you!  
  
Link: You have a real split personality don't you?  
  
White Fairy: Yes, it was given to me by an angel *Turns black* from the depths of a hot place called- *turns white* the oven  
  
Link: Can you change me back to a human?  
  
White Fairy: Yes I can- *turns black* hurt you so much that you'll cry for your mommy!  
  
Link: Um. I'm not looking for trouble I just want to get changed back.  
  
White Fairy: I wouldn't harm a fly- *turns black* unless it tried to talk to me! *Turns white* and made fun of me and tried to hurt me first. *Turns black* It would be dead in one second then! Bwa, ha, ha, ha!  
  
Link: Ok, that's nice, now could you just-  
  
Navi: I'll get-  
  
Link: *Stomps on Navi again* as I was saying, could you just turn me back to normal?  
  
White Fairy: Why?  
  
Link: Because I don't like being a goron and want to be a human again.  
  
Black Fairy: But you funny looking and I laugh by looking at- *turns white* funny cartoons.  
  
Link: Ok, you watch T.V.; good for you, now can you change me back?  
  
White Fairy: No  
  
Link: Why?  
  
White Fairy: Because you- *turns black* asked!  
  
Link: How else would I get you to change me back?  
  
White Fairy: you just- *turns black* have to talk telepathically.  
  
Link: I don't know how!  
  
Black Fairy: Too bad- *turns white* for, um. this blade of grass! *Eats a piece of the grass*  
  
SoS: o_O why did you do that?  
  
White Fairy: Um. I thought I was an herbivore?  
  
SoS: Ok.  
  
Link: Just change me back please!  
  
White Fairy: Ok! *Changes Link back* *turns black* Now pay me lots of money!  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Black Fairy: Because I changed you back!  
  
Link: No you didn't! The white fairy did!  
  
White Fairy: Yeah! *Turns black* but, but, I'm part of the white fairy! *Turns white* so what? I'm the one that changed him back!  
  
SoS: Cool! A one sided argument! Let's get some popcorn and watch the show! *Goes to get the popcorn and returns on the exact moment the argument ends* Noooo!  
  
White Fairy: I won! *Turns black* -_- *starts whining*  
  
Link: Let's just get out of here before they start something weird.  
  
SoS: Ok. *They start running away* How do I run with out feet?  
  
Link: I don't know, oh well.  
  
Navi: I'll-  
  
Link: Oh yeah, Navi *picks up Navi and starts running back home*  
  
Navi: I'll get you.  
  
Link: *Punches Navi into his fist* Now be quiet!  
  
Navi: *faints*  
  
Link: Phew! Finally!  
  
Black Fairy: Your still going to pay me lots of money! *Starts chasing Link while he's running back home* or suffer the consequences!  
  
Link: What consequences?  
  
Black Fairy: These consequences! *Starts shooting lasers from it's wings and the scene starts seeming like the Death Star thing on Star Wars when the bad guys are trying to stop the good guys from getting to the end of the Death Star* Bwa, ha, ha, ha!  
  
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Sees the entrance to Kokiri Forest* we're almost there! *Gets inside the forest and starts yelling for help* HELP, HELP, HELP! Save us!  
  
Everyone in the forest: *Takes out super soakers and waits for the fairy to come* Get ready!  
  
Black Fairy: *Flies into the forest and sees the super soakers thinking they're laser guns* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Retreat! *Flies out of the forest at light speed*  
  
Link and SoS: Yeah!  
  
The fairy left and peace has returned to the forest, but will Navi ever stop saying, "I'll get you." And how did the SoS get popcorn when it doesn't have hands? Um. Find out one of the answers in the next chapter! 


	10. At the Beach

Chapter Ten: At the Beach  
Last time, Link, Navi, and Smoothie got away from the split personality fairy and back to Link's home where Navi is twitching  
on the ground continually saying "I'll get you"  
  
Navi: I'll get you.  
  
Link: Will you be quiet already?! *Hits Navi again*  
  
Navi: Who hat where when why?! Um... what happened?  
  
Link: Finally!  
  
Navi: What?  
  
SoS: You were babbling like a wierdo so Link hit you a lot and you finally stopped being wierd.  
  
Navi: Okay, thanks, I think.  
  
SoS: let's go to the beach!  
  
Link: Why? Won't the water wash you away?  
  
SoS: I don't care! Let's go! Oh and by the way, I'm magic-like so the water can't wash me away. *Sides outside to go to the   
bach*  
  
Navi: I never knew there was a beach nearby.  
  
Link: Neither did I, hey! Wait Smoothie! We're going too!  
  
At the Beach  
  
Link: Woah, I never knew there was a trap door to the beach right under the Deku Tree, how did you lift him up Smoothie,  
and why does it look like clear day when we're underground?  
  
SoS: Answer One: I can use magic and you can't! na na na na na naaaa! Answer Two: That was a portal thing-a-ma-jig, not a  
trap door.  
  
Navi: I'm going swimming! *Jumps in the water*  
  
Link: Me too! *Jumps into water*  
  
SoS: I'm going to get a tan!  
  
Link & Navi: *See Smoothie on a folding chair getting a tan* Now there's something you don't see every day...  
  
Smoothie: *relaxed* ahhhhh, nothing like a good tan. *Takes a sip of a smoothie*  
  
Link: Smoothie's a cannibal! He's drinking a smoothie! When will all the insanity end!? When will it end?! How does a smoothie  
even drink?!  
  
Navi: *Diving off a high dive* Who cares?   
  
Link: Your right, where did that high dive come from?  
  
Navi: I don't know. *splashes into the water*  
  
Zora: I build it!  
  
Link: Where did you come from?  
  
Zora: thank you for swimming at the secret beach that only you know about! *Swims away*  
  
Navi: That was wierd.  
  
SoS: Keep it down! My tan's almost done!  
  
Link: Why do we have to be quiet while you-  
  
SoS: Shhhh!  
  
Link: But-  
  
SoS: Shh!  
  
Link: B-  
  
SoS: SHH! and just remember there's a lot more Shh where that cam from!  
  
Navi: Hey! Look what I found! *Flies in front of Link holding a pebble*  
  
Link: So what? It's a peb-  
  
SoS: Shh!!!  
  
Link: Alright alri-  
  
SoS: SHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
One hour later  
  
SoS: My tan's done!  
  
Link: You look exactly the same...  
  
SoS: So?  
  
Link & Navi: ...  
  
Link: *Starts choking on nothing* (cough) I'm choking on nothing! Help me! (cough)  
  
Navi: Does anyone know the, um, whatever it's called to stop choking?!  
  
SoS: We're the only ones here and neither of us have arms or legs, your a spark with wings and I'm a soft drink, do you really   
think we can really do anything?  
  
Navi: No but I walways wanted to say that.  
  
SoS: Oh.  
  
Link: (cough) Guys, I'm choking, remember me? i need assistance, assistance!  
  
SoS & Navi: Alright already! *Somehow get Link to shore*  
  
Navi: *Feels for a sign of life but finds none* No! he's dead!  
  
SoS: *crying like crazy* Noo! Why did it have to be him?! Why couldn't it be me?!  
  
Navi: *Also crying* Yeah! Why couldn't it be you!?  
  
SoS: Why did he have to go?!  
  
Navi: Why did he have to go and leave me with this talking soft drink?!  
  
Link: *Walks in from off screen* Hi guys what's wrong?  
  
Navi: What the?! Two Links?!  
  
Link: *See's the other Link* Wow! You guys found it! *Runs over*  
  
SoS: Found what?  
  
Link: *Unzips a zipper on the Tunic of the dead Link* My secret statue of me that holds all of the treasure and gold I got for  
saving Hyrule!  
  
Navi: Why did you keep it in a statue of you?  
  
Link: I have my reasons.  
  
Navi: Like what?  
  
Link: I don't know.  
  
Zora: Hi! Remember me? I just remembered that you never payed to swim here *sees the treasure* I'll take that for payment!  
*Takes the treasure and swims of*  
  
Link: Noooooo!  
  
SoS: Oh well, let's go home.  
  
Link & Navi: Okay! *follow Smoothie back through the portal to Link's house*  
  
Link and Navi found out about a beach they never knew existed until Smoothie showed them, and Link just lost his biggest   
fourtune ever, what will happen next time? Just read the next chapter, it's that simple. When there's a new chapter read it.  
Find out on the next chapter! Wait, I just said that, oh well. 


	11. A Frog Named Frogger

Chapter Eleven: A Frog named Frogger  
Last time, Link, Navi, and Smoothie went to a beach where Link found the treasure he was payed for saving Hyrule but he   
needed to use that to pay for swimming at the beach so he lost his treasure and they went back to Link's house.  
  
Link: Why?! Why does swimming at a beach cost so much?! That treasure must've been worth at least one bajzilionalo   
Rupees!  
  
Navi: Is that even a number?  
  
Link: I think so, it's got about one million 0s in it.  
  
Navi: Riiiight, anyways, We've been sitting here for hours and I've started to think that watching the dust settle on the furniture  
is entertaining. In other words, FORGET THE TREASURE!!! IT'S GONE ALREADY! THE ZORA TOOK IT! NOW LET'S GET  
ON WITH OUR LIVES!!!  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Navi & SoS: BECAUSE WE'RE BORED!!!  
  
Link: Okay, let's go defeat the giant disk and save the ninth dimension!  
  
Navi: Um... How about something a little different.  
  
Link: deafeat the tiny clock and save the seventh dimension?  
  
SoS: I think is is going to take a-  
  
Link: I've got it! Let's go get the treasure back!  
  
Navi: At last! Something to do!  
  
They go back to the beach and the zora appaers again  
  
Zora: Thank you for swimming at the beach that only you know about, that'll be one bajzillionalo rupees.  
  
Link: We're here to get my treasure back!  
  
Zora: But I like it, it's so shiny, and gold, and metal.  
  
Navi: Just give us back the treasure.  
  
Zora: You'll never get it back! Sick 'em boy!  
  
Link: Oh fudge! He's got a dog!  
  
Frog: Ribbit.  
  
SoS: It's just a stupid frog.  
  
Frog: Ribbit.  
  
Zora: Go get 'em boy! Do your worst!  
  
Frog: Ribbit.  
  
Navi: *Sarcastically* Oh no! He's gonna murder us! Run for you-  
  
Frog: Ribbit!!! *catches Navi with his toung and swallows her*  
  
SoS: NOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Link: Oh well, I never really liked her anyway.  
  
Navi: Can someone please get me out of here? It's all wet and wierd and- how did his tounge stretch that far?  
  
Zora: This is no ordinary frog, This is Frogger!  
  
Link: What's so special about frogger?  
  
Zora: You know, the frog, in the video game, who's always getting run over by traffic?  
  
Link: Oh yeah! Now people should know not to jay-walk, that game sure taught me a lesson in safety.  
  
SoS: *mumbles* Video games are the only way he'll ever learn.  
  
Link: What?  
  
SoS: Nothing!  
  
Link: no, you said something!  
  
SoS: Shouldn't you be concentrating on getting your treasure back?  
  
Navi: And don't forget about me!  
  
Link: Oh yeah, give me back my tresure! And Navi too, I guess.  
  
Zora: Never! Go get 'em again boy!  
  
Frogger: Ribbit! *Shoots out tounge and drinks Smoothie*  
  
Link: Oh well, a talking Smoothie was beggining to get pretty disturbing anyway.  
  
Navi & SoS: Help me!!!  
  
Link: Give me back the treasure!  
  
Zora: One more time Frogger! Get him!  
  
Frogger: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiibiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!! *Transforms into a giant demon-like frog and swallows Link*  
  
Link: oh great, look at what you guys did!  
  
Navi & SoS: O_o your the one who wanted to get the treasure back!  
  
Link: Well... Um...  
  
Navi & SoS: Let's skip the part where you say we're right and get to the part where we get out of here!  
  
Link: Okay! *Takes out his sword* Die demon frog! DIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!! *Slashes frogger like crazy from inside*  
  
Frogger: *looking dazed and talking like it too* RIiIiIibIiIiIit.  
  
Link: I'm going to the head! * runs up to Froggers head and pokes the top of his head from inside*  
  
Frogger: *Starts going wierd because of the pokingin his head* Ribi Ribi Ribi Rib Rib Rib Ri Ri Ri Ri R R R R  
  
Zora: What's going on?  
  
Link: *Pokes Froggers brain with the sword*  
  
Frogger: *In a Scottish accent, turns to the Zora* Hey there laddy!  
  
Zora: o_O  
  
Link: *Continues to poke*  
  
SoS & Navi: *Join in by ramming*  
  
Frogger: Laddy! Somethin's pokin' me brain! Save me! Save me!  
  
Zora: O_o Okaaaaay...  
  
Frogger: *Explodes but there's no blood or gore or anything like that, just a big fiery explosion*  
  
Zora: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *Leaves the treasure and swims away like lightning*  
  
Link: Yeah! We're free!   
  
SoS: It's a miracle! I can see again!  
  
Navi: O_o Okaaay there's something up with Smoothie.  
  
Link: Who cares? i got my treaure back and I'm going home!  
  
The got out of Frogger, they got the treasure back, but how did they survive the big firey explosion? i don't know. Oh well! 


	12. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
While this note is up, that means there will be a delay on this story. I will remove this if I get back to writing this story, but it'll  
propably be up for a while... 


End file.
